Lucentio_4_LYFE

ACT I: SCENE i

Current mood: jittery!!

HOLY CRAP. So today I traveled to Padua with my trusty manservant Tranio (weird name, I know, but the guy's legit). Anyways, I arrived with the hopes of learning new things and what not. I'm young and have a lot I could do with my life, right? Well, I ended up getting much more than just the opportunity to learn things, we'll say. I heard this racket when I arrived...some mad, perhaps demon-possessed woman was yelling and cursing and spitting. "Damn!" I thought, "What a wench." But then I saw a girl to her left...perhaps the very spitting image of beauty herself! Her hair was blowing in the wind, her cheeks were fair with rosey circles, oh man, I'm just getting all worked up thinking about her. I should probably settle down a little bit. Anyways, to make a long story short, her father said she can't marry until her wretch of a sister does...I can't blame him, either...I'd want to get rid of that queen b too were I him. This does mean I cannot court her though...but this is where my AWESOME plan comes in. You guys will love this. I'm going to //pretend// to be a school-teacher in order to get close to her. I know, I know. I'm awesome. Tranio will in turn, just be me. I told you the dude's legit. Anyways...I'm so psyched for this! Sure, I should be studying, but screw it, this chick is hella-fine.

Anyways, peace out! Lucentio 4 LYFE!

ACT I: SCENE ii

Current mood: pensive...

Remember that plan I told you readers about? Well, it totally is working. Not only did I get to be Bianca's (that's her name, apparently) school-teacher, but Tranio, being the awesome wing-man he is, created a divergence for me to have more time with just the two of us. The funniest part of it all is the fact that I was hired by a suitor for Bianca herself! If only that sorry soul Gremio had any idea who I was or what my intentions were...he would think twice about his decision.

Sometimes I wonder how I can wrap this plan up...I mean, I can't just be this mystery school-teacher forever, right? No woman is really worth that kind of effort. I just have no idea how I would reveal my identity and what not in the end...and if I do succeed in wooing her and must do what I previously mentioned, will she even still love me? Ah, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, right? The play's the thing...in which I, on her finger, place a ring. I know, I know, that was cheesy. I love Shakespeare, though. I hope she does too...either way it does not really matter...she's smoking! As soon as I get with that I won't even have time for Shakespeare...or anything else really...if you know what I mean. ;)

OOP! It appears that my battery is low, so I'd better wrap this up before I have a few drinks over at the pub. Lucentio 4 LYFE! :D

ACT II: SCENE i

Current mood: suspicious!

I know Tranio doesn't read this, so I'll be bluntly honest. I think he's got a major jonesin for my girl Bianca...I can't be positive, of course, and he's always been my wing-man, so I trust the crazy little dude...but still. He's pretending to be me, which is all well and good, but does he need to try so hard to woo her? What does he plan to do if he does indeed woo her?

Also, I've recieved word from a relable source (aka Gremio, that unlucky bastard that hired me as an incentive for Bianca's hand) that there is a suitor interested in Kate. WHAT!?!?! I know, I'm just as in disbelief as you all are. Apparently this guy Petruccio needs some money...a LOT of money. I wouldn't marry that swine for any amount of money. No...just...just no. However, it pleases me greatly to know that Petruccio is interested...although that makes my position as a school-teacher somewhat unnecessary in order to court her. Ah, well.

Lucentio 4 LYFE!

ACT III: SCENE i

Current mood: optimistic

Bianca digs me...I know it. That girl is fire! However, she distrusts me. Why on earth wouldn't she trust me!? Er...well, I guess I am creating a false identity in order to woo her...but STILL! Ah well, the important thing is that she is totally into me right now...or at least more-so than the other suitors after her. Apparently Hortensio is not her flavor...then again, from how I surveyed the situation, he seemed to be so ridiculously desperate when he was going after her...I don't know if he expects that to be attractive or what, but it definitely isn't. I know what women want, they want confidence...they want a real man. That's what you'll get with me, Bianca. ;)

At the same time, she distrusts me...this leaves me very uncertain about my chances with her. Why did I have to do the whole school-teacher plan!? I mean, no matter how close to her I get, I'll have to break the news about who I am to her somehow. If she already distrusts me now, could I expect her to trust me after that, even if I am not much less impressive than a school-teacher himself? Ah, I'm rambling again. I shouldn't worry so much...she's totally into me! :D

Well, that's enough blogging for now. Peace! Lucentio 4 LYFE

ACT III: SCENE iii

Current mood: Pimpin'! 8)

HAHAH! This Petruccio guy is apparently a huge asshole! He left Kate waiting at the altar, and then arrived in disgusting clothes on a diseased horse, swore, drank, etc...what an embarrassment! I guess it's no less than that wench deserves, though. I'm sure that Petruccio is just a man who knows how to get a woman to submit like she should...his methods are just a little...well, anomalous, we'll say. I know, big words. I've been studying a little myself. :) That said, I spoke to Baptista today about wedding plans with Bianca. DAMN! This is so close to being in the bag I can nearly taste it...and it tastes good! We didn't go too into detail, but basically, I am still in this game and it feels good. With Kate married, the finish line is even nearer...we shall see how this turns out. :D

Lucentio 4 LYFE!

ACT IV: SCENE ii

Current mood: excited!!!!

So the T-man has done it again. He convinced Hortensio to give up and go marry a rich widow, and had "given up" himself as a suitor...guess he's completely on my side afterall...*phew*. Anyways, that means I'm the only remaining suitor! Sure, the whole game of me posing as a schoolmaster is a little unnecessary at this time, but why fix what's not broken? Along those lines, Tranio has scared a man into pretending to be my fake father. Such devotion to one's friend I have never before seen! Anyways, I'm off to meet the ol' bloke, and then we'll take it from there. Toodles!

Lucentio 4 LYFE!

ACT IV: SCENE iv-v

Current mood: WOOOOO!

YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 It's on. It's on and poppin'! I shall be hastily eloping with the sweet and fine Bianca, thanks to no other but Tranio and Biondello. Tranio discussed the wedding plans with Baptista today, whilst I spoke with Biondello, who said he has arranged a priest to give Bianca and myself a hasty wedding. It is finally in the bag. The only thing I have left to worry about is if my cover will ever be blown, but at this point I don't see why it ever will be! It would take less effort at this point to just continue the facade of being a schoolteacher than to explain to Bianca what my plan was. Sure, she'd probably stay with me, but it just isn't worth the time to explain when I could just live a lie for her so easily. I guess that sounds bad, but really, she isn't getting hurt in any way...it's not as if her believing that I'm a school-teacher has any effect on how our relationship works, anyways. I'm just excited to finally elope! This is going to be so awesome. Anyways, enough time-wasting on here, I'm off to go eye up my hot bride-to-be!

Lucentio 4 LYFE!

ACT V

Current mood: relieved

Well, dad had to come along and spoil all the fun, once again. He nearly got himself arrested as an imposter! While it's most-likely good that it worked out this way, I am amazed by everyone's commitment who played along...both Biondello and Tranio did not say a word, and I am stunned! Baptista seems a little pissed that I played this whole game to get into his daughter's pants, but I think he'll be okay with it in the end, and my father as well.

Once all that was aside, we had an awesome feast prepared for the wedding after-party. Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night was when Petruccio revealed to us all that he had trained Kate to be more obedient and a better wife than either Bianca to me, or that old widow was to Hortensio. What a riot! She even gave a speech on how wives should be obedient and submissive to their husbands...how rich! Anyways, Bianca did not arrive promptly when I called to her, and while I love her so, I might have to actually take a pointer or two from my boy Petruccio...he seems to know how to get a woman to submit! Anyways, it was a fun ride, and I'm glad I ended up with the girl in the end. Dad isn't too upset, I guess, so that's good. My only hope is that someday, if some alternative form of entertainment is invented which involves moving pictures, that this story is never recreated for a youthful audience of teenage girls who are in love with some Austrailian hunk. Oh, what am I saying, I don't even know where Austrailia is! Anways, I think now is a good time to discontinue my blog...I'll be too busy consumating my marriage to write in here, if you catch my drift. ;)

Lucentio 4 LYFE!